By now, most of you have probably read Katie’s story. This story sums up exactly why I started Her Universe in the first place. Star Wars is for EVERYONE! Not just boys and not just girls, but for everyone. However, even with the increase of girl Star Wars fans due to The Clone Wars, little girls everywhere are still being told that Star Wars is not for them. I witnessed this same sort of situation back in August and I posted a blog post about it. Read the story below:
I just wanted to share something that has been on my mind ever since I overheard a conversation by two young sisters a couple weeks ago. I was carrying a Clone Wars mini backpack as my purse, I love the backpack because it has Ahsoka on it. While the backpack is clearly marketed towards little boys, there is no reason why a little girl could not carry it. One of the sisters, who was about to start kindergarden, said that she wanted my backpack for school. The other sister who was about to go into eighth grade, told the kindergardener that my Clone Wars backpack was for boys and that she needed to get a more girly backpack…………………………………….
This conversation made me think about all of the young girls in our Her Universe community that are going back to school this month. It made me think of all of the comments like these that are going to be hurled their way when they talk about Star Wars or sci-fi. I think about all of the girls that will feel like they have to hide their love of Star Wars because it is not cool or girly. I don’t envy their position, it’s not easy dealing with peer pressure. However, if I can give one piece of advice to our readers, it would be to go back to school with confidence. Be proud of who you are and what you like. One of the most attractive qualities you can posses is confidence. Other’s will gravitate to you if you have confidence in yourself. If a guy makes fun of you for liking Star Wars, he’s actually probably flirting with you. Most guys think it is cool that a girl is into the same things they are, they just don’t always have the best way of showing it. Trust me, they like it if you can prove that you can hang with the boys in a conversation. If another girl makes fun of you for liking Star Wars, she probably does not realize all that there is to love about it. She probably has not even given it a chance because of the stereotype, or, no one has ever taken the time to explain it to her. Star Wars is a conversation starter. If someone challenges you on why you love something, tell them why you love it and what makes it so great. Don’t make excuses for it. Be confident about it, you cannot force others to have the same likes as you, but they will appreciate your conviction. Be true to yourself. People will admire you for it. You may even make a new friend.
The younger sister that wanted the backpack was going into Kindergarden and the pressure to conform was already being placed upon her by her sister in eighth grade. I happen to know that the eighth grade sister is a victim or bullying herself and maybe in her own way, she was trying to protect her younger sister from the same sort of taunts that have been haunting her all throughout middle school.
Unfortunately, I have to cut this blog post short for now because I have to get ready and go to a wedding, but I will be back with more thoughts about what we can to do help stop this epidemic of bullying. In the meantime, do you have any stories like this and what is your advice?
Ashley 
My 5 year old daughter who started Kindergarten this year has a Clone Wars backpack and she complained that the boys were telling her that she had a boys backpack. I think she was being teased for awhile but not any more from what she says. The boys are her friends now and they play Star Wars on the playground at recess. But I agree the bullying needs to stop it, is senseless and pointless on any level.
oh my gosh, i read the story and i was shocked!
no way!
Well I have read this story and I am shocked that this is going on in the Star Wars community. Never would have thought that. Star Wars is AWESOME and I love to hear when anyone loves it. I have a twin sister who also loves Star Wars and always has. I don’t quite get where guys would like it is not girly, because look at all the strong women in this Saga, Leia and Padme the two most inmportant ones we see.
Start clubs through schools, neighborhoods, etc. that are not exclusive to anyone; clubs for kids with a common interest, such Star Wars. I probably would’ve had a harder time making friends in a new school a couple of years ago due to my withdrawn personality, but in Drama class I met some cool people. However, schools don’t typically have Star Wars clubs, but it might do some good to encourage kids with a common interest such as Star Wars to meet and hang out every so often. Kids, like anyone else, like to feel like they’re a part of something. For some reason, when kids are a part of the same club or organization, they form a special bond with anyone else in the group. I don’t know, just a thought.
My story has been shared a lot on this site. All the Her Universe regulars have encountered my story about me hitting the little boy upside the head with my Star Wars lunch box for telling me that Star Wars was for boys and not for girls all over the place here on the blog and on the message board.
I am a member of the first generation of Star Wars fans, and in my family, the next generation of fans now exist. I have one son who is a casual fan. My sister, also a casual fan, has two sons and a daughter. All three of her children enjoy Star Wars. My niece, unlike me, has not encountered bullying as yet do to her interests in either Star Wars or Transformers. While she doesn’t, as yet, have any Star Wars shirts, she does have a couple of Transformers shirts. However, I’ve never heard her complain about being picked on when she wears either of them to school. So far, anyways.
My advice to girls that are Star Wars fans is to stand firm in your love of it. Ignore as best as you can the teasing, within reason. Most teasing will usually end within a couple of days. However, if it does not, talk to your teacher or another adult in charge if it’s outside of school. Always inform your parents of what is happening. You never know if your own mother might have gone through similar circumstances when she was a girl. If the teasing and such keeps on, point out to them Padme’, Leia, Ahsoka, Aayla, and Shak Ti are all girls. Usually within a couple of days, those that are picking on you will back down. In fact, they might even become new friends.
It is so sad that this happens. My daughter is a huge SW fan, we all are. She’s 4 & we have exposed her to this wonderful world of sci-fi since she was born. I myself wear tons of geeky wear. She loves to dress up like a trooper. She even wanted to be Darth Vader for Halloween, but changed her mind (she’s 4, they do that a lot). My point is that I love that she’s so confident about her convictions even at such a young age. I hope this movement about Katie will help other girls be the same way. I hope they realize that as they get older it is a great trait to have and boys really do like it. #maytheforcebewithkatie
My sisters and I all love Star Wars, even though we have no brothers. Since we all like it, it’s a lot easier to stand up to people saying, “You’re weird for liking Star Wars” or “Star Wars is for boys” because we know it isn’t, and we know we are supported by each other at home, and it doesn’t matter what other people say.
As a teacher(15 years) and former assistant principal (six years), I have some insight.
FIRST: Schools and teachers cannot control what other people’s children do. Kids will bully and say stuff and be bad because that’s what kids do. Punishment in the form of suspension is not sufficient and it often becomes a legalistic issue of “prove my little angel did this to a legal standard commensurate with a court of law.” Parents of bullies either don’t see or don’t want to be inconvenienced. So they want proof on a CSI level. Bully parents back their own kids to the exclusion of what’s right. Why? Because they don’t want to be inconvenienced because of their bad parenting.
SECOND: FORTY percent of HS kids surveyed say that the person to blame for bullying is the VICTIM because they are ‘different’.
THIRD: With thirty kids, teachers do NOT have even 2 minutes per kid to hear playground grievances. (That’s one sixth of instructional time). Schools should isolate bullies. Separate classroom. Separate recess, separate lunch, maybe separate campus.
FOURTH: THIS issue is societal. Different kids ARE the kids who will change the world. They are also ‘weird’ or ‘not normal’. The bottom line is the bully’s parents are the issue. In a society that demonizes the different – be they gay, or geeks or punks – everyone gets bullied. People who oppose gay marriage or anything else that challenges society’s “norms” are more likely to be tolerant of bullies.
FOR FAMILIES: Parents need to teach their kids to BE different. To be proud of themselves and to accept themselves, giving themselves permission to like what they like. Recognize that kids are not fully formed adults and that the peer group has no social skills or filter. My daughter is PROUD that she is the only kid in her class who loved Guns And Roses and not ‘Single Ladies’. I have RAISED her to be tough and to accept she is different and know she’s always gonna be way cooler than the drones. It’s the drones who will smoke, abuse alcohol and get into drugs. By training your kid to be an individual they are far less likely to bend to peer pressure to be part of the crowd.
DO NOT: Go whining to the bully’s parents. They will take pride in it.
IT IS TIME for parents of bullied kids to SUE schools and indifferent or ineffective administrators . (BTW ADMINISTRATORS ARE PERSONALLY LIABLE AND CAN LOSE THEIR HOMES IF THEY LOSE A CASE)
SECOND SOLUTION: Go public, the principal is NOT your last line of appeal, GO TO THEIR BOSS, write the board of education, appear at Board meetings. Picket the school. Write the papers. School districts HATE bad press. They will usually do just about anything to shut parents up. BE A PEST!!!
THIRD: TELL YOUR KID YOU LOVE THEM AND YOU ARE PROUD OF THEM.
FOURTH: Join the 501st or R2 builders. (I am in both) By letting your kids see your fandom. they’re fine with theirs. Go to Comicons and get swag.
FIFTH: Be a pen-pal with Star Wars friend. We’re all over facebook. PARENTS: Check out the potential pen-pals and work with them. NEVER let your child communicate unsupervised. (Ashley: perhaps a forum on your website?)
I am TK-9177 and STAR WARS IS FOREVER
PS: Ashley. It was an honor to meet you @ ComicCon this year. My daughter wears her SW shirt all the time. And my kids love the book you signed for them. THANK YOU for all you do for the community and for kids. Hopefully we will be able to get tickets and see you this summer.
Bullying is very dangerous, and not always necessarily for the obvious and immediate reasons. Bullying can cause serious emotional health problems, low self esteem, depression, etc. Many people don’t think of depression when they think of young children. But it does happen. I was probably in about fourth grade when I had my first encounter with depression. Not just getting upset either, but all out depression. No child should ever have to go through that. Anger can also be aroused in bullying victims. Though it’s not always bullying that causes this, but some kids in intense emotional pain are attracted to the idea of joining a gang…unfortunately, I should know. I did not join one however. I learned that artistic expression is much healthier. The thing about a gang is that they tend to seemingly offer a sense of belonging. No one is born with hatred or anger. It is picked up along the way. Kids who want to join gangs are hurt. Now, clubs are a healthy alternative to gangs as well. Maybe a litle off topic? Clubs offer kids a sense of belonging, but it’s in a healthy way. I don’t know, maybe supporting Star Wars clubs isn’t a bad idea.
OK, i know i posted earlier, but that wasn’t all i was gonna say.
but now if i mention it, it’s like “Oh, wow, you’re a girl and you like…” :’-(
the reason i was shocked at Katie’s story is becuase that didn’t happen to me.
i think it’s unfair. girls can like Star Wars, Batman, Transformers, etc…
and i think this is another problem: girls have been told they CAN’T like star wars simply for being a girl. and since they’ve heard that, they don’t want to admit it’s one of their intrests to even another girl.
I believe it’s unfair as well. We girls love it just as much as the boys. In fact, maybe even more. I personally am a Star Wars lovin’ girly girl who loves collecting Barbie dolls. It’s sad that bullying starts so young. I feel for her. My sister has run into girls who think she’s weird to like SW because they think it’s for boys. But then again she knows several girls who watch TCW every Friday night.
I was actually at the park yesterday, wearing my favorite Clone Wars shirt, and I was playing with a couple of little girls (ages about 4-6) and we were decorating a tree with flowers. The four year old looks up at me and says, “Why are you wearing a Star Wars shirt?” and I replied, “I love Star Wars. It’s my favorite show.” and she says, “But, Star Wars is for boys!” and i said (calmly), “No it isn’t, did you know that almost half of star wars fans are girls?” and she says, “Really?” And i said, “Yeah! My favorite character is Ahsoka.” and the 6 year old says, “I love Ahsoka!” and i said, “And there’s Padme,” and the four year old said, “Oh, I like Padme!” It was kind of funny, in a way, to hear this from a four year old. But i took it as an opportunity to show them that star wars isn’t just for boys
I remember back in high school wearing a couple SW shirts to class (not girl’s shirts, mind. I wasn’t comfortable wearing properly fitted clothing at that age so I wore baggy guy’s shirts) and I did get teased. I remember in particular someone calling me Chewbacca, because I guess that’s the only SW character they knew. (and that didn’t hurt my feelings because… I’m 5 foot, why is ‘Chewbacca’ an appropriate insult?). I don’t have the best memory, but I don’t remember backing off my love of Star Wars. Ever. And the teasing about SW stopped because I stood by it.
So they just stuck with teasing me about my height and poor fashion sense
I’ve learned, and this is hard to really see at that age when you are in the thick of it, that when you don’t react to it, the bullies learn it’s an ineffective weapon. For instance, when they would call me short… how is that an insult? Yeah, I’m short! Thank you, Mr. Obvious. As the above poster, Rebecca posted, if they say SW is for boys, just simply say “What makes you say that? Half of fans are female.”
As an adult I’ve never once been reproached for my geekwear, but been approached by a few guys who thought it was awesome to see a girl wearing Star Wars
I was shocked when I read Katie’s story. First of all because I couldn’t believe that would be happening that early. Way back in 1998/1999 when Episode One was about to come out I had star wars clothing, sandals (they were boys, but I got a size that could fit my feet from Target), and everything. All the kids were excited, more so the boys, but even the girls got excited too. I mean at the Halloween parade I always saw some Leias, and later on Padmes.
The difference is when you get to upper elementary school, middle school, and high school. I had the double disadvantage of going to an all girl’s high school. I kept my love for Star Wars a closet love. When girl heard instead of going to the mall I was going to watch ROTS on my computer she thought I was insane. Seriosly not every girl wants to go to the mall every weekend? But, I kept on going. It was junior year I started coming out, if you will. I had a teacher who was a huge Star Wars fan when I read in the school’s paper that his favorite quote was “Do or do not, there is no try”. I was quite happy. By senior year, I was comfortable enough to dress as a jedi knight for Halloween. I got a lot of props for doing so.
The thing is that girls are stereotyped to like certain things. Even Barbies for example, by fourth grade I still liked them and I got picked on because I still liked playing with them. Kids now want to grow up way too fast it seems. At least that is what I percieved. Star Wars is universal and it shouldn’t matter who gender. I even remembered my mom telling me she liked Qui-Gon Jinn, and was really sad when he died. She at first never cared for Star Wars until that fateful year (1997) when the 20th special editions and the prequels came out two years later.
When I got to college, my ENTIRE DORM liked Star Wars. Even the girls, heck my next door neigbor loved Star Wars and she was also a complete girly girl. The thing is people will grow up. Not one person I know in college hasn’t at least seen the Original Trilogy and say that didn’t like Star Wars. My professors have made refrences to our lectures from the Original Trilogy. School age kides need to learn to be kids and not to grow up too soon. I think that is the real problem at hand.
This type of “bullying” used to be known as teasing & it has been happenening since the dawn if time. I know cause I’m older than dirt! But seriously, my mother taught me this & I wonder why mothers don’t teach this today – “Sticks & stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me” & “Dont wear your heart on your sleeve”. She encouraged me to take control of the situation for myself & stop giving so much power to another person to control my thoughts & feelings & ultimately my life. Admittedly it took some time for me to fully grasp this idea & Katie does need help to show her how best to cope. Someone mentioned a club thats a great idea! Giving Katie the tools & power to control her destiny are the best way to build her self esteem.
I was never bullied for liking Star Wars, but it was where I went to escape when I was being bullied for all sorts of other things. It’s easy to say that it’s “just” teasing when it’s not happening to you, when someone isn’t needling you to the point where your personality changes, you start fights at the drop of a hat, and you start internalizing it in all sorts of harmful ways. It’s especially hard when it seems like nobody listens to you–Katie’s mother is doing a wonderful thing by supporting her and encouraging her to not let these kids take something that she loves away from her.
I hope that she and all the kids like her who are being bullied for whatever reason–being too something, not enough something, liking something or someone that someone thinks they shouldn’t or not liking something or someone that someone thinks they should–get this kind of support and can keep their confidence. I’ve been there, I’ve been to the point where all I wanted was for it to end forever, and thankfully I didn’t follow through because Episode 1 was still two years away and I wanted to see at least that before I went (kind of a stupid reason when you just say it like that, but it ended up being just enough to push me through to where things could start going uphill again.) Eventually I was able to get the help and support I needed, but a lot of kids DON’T. And minimizing their experiences by saying that it’s “just” teasing when they have no other experiences to compare it to because they’re so young is not going to be what helps.
The best thing you can do is to listen and let someone know that they’re not alone. It’s why, despite all the frustration I sometimes have with how nitpicky Star Wars fans can be, I will always hang around the communities that I’m on: I’m not alone.
Bullying in my opinon is horrible and i don’t know what but i feel more needs to be done me and my sister were bullied all through school. I remeber coming home and telling my parents i didn’t want to go to school ever again. One time my mom took it up with the principle about my sister who was constantly being bullied and they said well maybe my sister needed to change her behavior and try to fit it blaming the victim is not a solution.
At first i did fall for the sterotype and didn’t like starwars because i never gave it a chance i heard it was for geeks and boys and though i was a geek i didn’t want something to make me geekier so i didn’t even give it a chance. However when i was about 15 and rots came out my sister went to see it with someone (just so he wouldn’t have to see it alone) and loved it. She was watching attack of the clones one day and i was in the room and i was hooked even after that though i never really pronoucned my fandom because, being bullied my whole life, i didn’t want to feel any more differnt and give the bullies something to make fun of.
Later on i would talk online about starwars and go to starwars events with my sister and my firneds but i was still shy about my love for starwars and honestly it wasn’t until heruniverse came out that i really in everyday life showed i loved starwars and i got to say that support from guys mainly have been great guys are constantly complimenting my shirts and gradually i became more and more comfortable about being who i really was.
Katie’s story really touched me i really know how she feels kids are mean and its tough when they say mean things to not take it personally. i definitly applaud her for using her starwars bottle again and not giving in because i did give in i hid it and she didn’t that takes guts and she is an inspration to girls everywhere.
thank you for sharing this story and for everything you do Ashley giving us fangirls a voice and making me comfortable if you will to be a starwars fangirl.
OMG it´s sooo unfair i remember my days at school and it was horrible when the boys made fun of you
i just hate people who just do that and don´t think about the consequences, i guess that´s what makes us strong, as women we have a lot of inconveniences, i study architecture and i know what it feels the rejection in a men world
katie just tell all those ugly boys, shut up Star Wars is for all!!!
I read both stories and it makes me sad how people do that to us girl fans. But I can see the older sister wanting to protect her little sister. I hate it how people think SW if is ‘a boy thing.’ And I agree it isn’t a girl thing either, it’s both. Boys can like girl stuff and I wouldn’t care. I haven’t had many problems about SW being a boy thing the problem I’ve had is no one wants to talk to me because they think SW is the only thing I like. And I love other things as well but SW is something I very passionate about. I love other movies and books. I’ve never really noticed funny looks I get from boys when I’m looking at SW figures but I wouldn’t be supprised if there was. I get a bit self conchious when I go to look. But I do what I can to defy that. But Katie and tell “Star Wars is for everyone!” I would if I had that problem. I don’t beause I’m homeschooled and the boys in my co-op’s don’t mind it. And I hate how SW is also for girl’s that are tomboys. Well it isn’t! I’m a girly-girl! I love pink, hot guys, makeup, kittens, and I may not be a Twilight fan and be in love with that Vampire but I do love Anakin. ♥ Thanks for Her Universe Ashley, I’ve been able to show how much of a SW fan I am and I felt more open to show I’m a SW fan thanks to you. You got me back into loving SW like I did when I was little. Thanks!
~♫♪♥Ria SkyguysSkygirl♥♪♫~
I’m surprised the teacher didn’t make this comment but
Moral development in kids doesn’t fully develop until 12/13 years old. Those smaller kids have a very “shady” outlook on what is right and what is wrong. — read Piaget or Kohlberg if you want to learn more.
I’m not sure if there is a special time in school when they discuss this topic with the kids but maybe they should. It shouldn’t be addressed when bullying starts. It should start way before that.
Most likely children repeat what they saw at home or on TV.
TV shows constantly shows geeky kids as the underdogs. EVEN if they finally prevail, it shows that those kids get picked on.
Maybe the dad jokingly teases a buddy or the mom at home.
A child at 7 years old doesn’t understand the distinction.
When your own kid get’s bullied you have to teach them how to be strong and “fight” back. Not fight as in physically, but as in defend or stand up for themselves.
Ignoring the issue, and hoping the bullies stop is ridiculous. It teaches the kids to be passive and that it’s ok for someone to walk all over them. After years and years of ignoring that type of verbal abuse is probably why kids snap, and shoot each other up in schools.
I got bullied all my life. If it wasn’t because I had straight A’s, it was because my parents couldn’t afford the latest fashions or toys. Now of all fucking things people make comments that I can’t possibly be a geek or a gamer because of how I look. I’m a very girly geek. I didn’t like fashion until I was in college, but I wasn’t going to fit into any kind of mold so I just like what I do and people can piss off if they don’t like it.
My dad read UFO encounters as bed time stories and family movie nights consisted of Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Rambo, Rocky type movies. I had legos instead of a barbie.
But I was never a bully victim. I stood up for myself, because my parents taught me how to.
I notice that at an older age, especially in the teen years, boys are most likely to be nice to the girls who are nerdy, because they are also nerdy. This is not true for all as some will ignore your request to play video games together and demand that you make them a “sammich”.
The best thing any girl can do is be confident. People will respect that, and the little boys will back down. Plus it would help if every freaking Star Wars product was not made for little boys!
This may not all be true in a large school, I did not grow up in one, but things do get better as you get older. And if people STILL give you crap, just walk away, keeping in mind that they probably don’t know the difference between an internet browser and an operating system.
This story hit pretty close to home for me. I am in seventh grade and I have gotten teased many times over the two years that I have been interested in Star Wars. One of the saddest things for me is that the teasing was comming from some of my closest friends. One of the most hurtful comments that someone has said to me is, “You are starting to sound like your brother.” This hurt me really hard, and for a while I kept my love of Star Wars hidden. This was right before Her Universe was announced. After hearing about Her Universe, I became a LOT more confident. The girls who teased me aer still my friends, they just had to learn to accept that I WILL be Jaina Solo for Halloween, I WILL wear Her Universe chlothes, and I WILL quote Star Wars if I feel like it. May the Force be with you, Katie
I’m glad Katie’s story is getting so much publicity! I’m sure she is reading about all of the support she is getting, and I think it’s great!
My daughter and I both love Star Wars. One year, at my daughter’s school, I dressed up as a Jedi. I’m sure to the PTO mothers, I may have seemed a bit out of place, but I didn’t care. I was a Jedi, and my daughter was either Darth Vader or Boba Fett that year. We had a lot of fun parading around the school, and even now a couple of years later, one boy in particular in her class remembers me as the “Star Wars Mom”, and being a fan himself thought that was really cool.
My daughter loves Ahsoka, and she likes wearing Star Wars shirts to school, or having Star Wars accessories. She told me that she was told that she was weird for liking Star Wars, but when I asked her if that bothered her, she said, “No, I don’t care!” That’s my girl! I have ingrained in her the ideals to be or like whatever she wants, no matter what other people say.
Ashley, my daughter just opened up her gift Ahsoka shirt today–you should have seen her face!! She jumped up and down with excitement! I do have pictures.
To my fellow fangirl Padawan Katie—
Although you were the victim of bullying, you have set an example for geek girls worldwide. Yes, bullying and teasing are horrid and wrong. No, it should not happen to anyone. However, bullying does happen in this world. Though, individually, we are each one girl (and some boys on these blogs, too), if we stick together we can become a world-wide campaign against bullying.
In school there are going to be people who are going to tease you. (In my school, people still jeer about how weird, monotonous, and dorky Star Wars is.
) But if you just ignore it and continue to be yourself, you will find that those “teasers” will back off. I’ve even noticed that one girl at my school, who ALWAYS says, “No not Star Wars again!” whenever we bring up the topic, joined in on our SW conversation the other day. Inwardly, I smiled. STAR WARS IS GREAT, and even the “teasers” have to admit that after a while.
A word of advice to my fellow fangirls and geek girls that I continue to learn myself: just be yourself. Even if you are not the most popular kid in school, (or even the most liked co-worker, for that matter) being yourself will always be the better choice. Don’t succumb to being like everyone else just to fit in. Truthfully, if we all be ourselves, we will stand out to the “teasers” and be a light in this world. And, to quote Marianne Williamson:
“As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
And if all of us fangirls stand up for ourselves, stand up against bullying, and stand up for one another, we will become a light so bright that not even the cruelest bully can extinguish it.
What do you say, girls? Let’s take a stand.
Thank you Jedi Katie!
~Lillian Skye
I’ve posted on the message boards about a similar situation with my daughter and got the same type of response for her! It helped her out so much and she’s not afraid to be herself anymore. I think that the positive messages and support are the best things we can give our kids. That no matter what-they are awesome! As an adult, I even get teased, mostly by family members, because of my love for Star Wars. It’s pretty ridiculous. They love to say “I don’t get it..”. I respond..”you don’t need to”! I have taught my kids to treat others the way they would like to be treated. That we are all free to choose to live our lives the way we like, and that everyone else has this same freedom.
It is so sad to hear that someone was being bullied simply for liking Star Wars. I was teased in my 6th grade year for liking Star wars, and in my 7th grade year my parents began suggesting that I should stop liking Star Wars. They both like Star Wars, they just think that I like it too much. I also think that they were worried about me getting bullied because of it. After a while I became a closet fan. Then I discovered Her Universe, and I realized I should just be myself and be proud of being a fan. Now my parents have begun leaving me alone about that. I am more confident and happier. The truth is though, everyone will be bullied at one point in their lives, Star Wars fan or not. The important thing to do, is to try and be kind to the bully; they probably need it. Be an example for them. It is hard, but it pays off. Another important thing is to stay strong. Never give in to peer pressure and never bully others.
May the force be with you Katie!
you have inspired so many people to put an end to bullying.
Well, this sort of reminds me of my social justice class here at college.
It seems to go with what people are raised with, pink and princesses are for girls and blue and fighting are for boys. But when the norm is broken by a girl who enjoys and even loves Star Wars, she is instantly shunned for being different. Hiding the fact only makes her feel that liking a “boy show” is a bad thing for a girl, while openly showing she likes it makes her an oddity.
However, in showing she likes Star Wars, she also has the means of forming friendships with boys who don’t believe girls have “cooties” and other girls who hide the fact they like Star Wars too. Amazing things can happen if you be yourself.
My advice is to not be ashamed of liking something different. At times I feel like I’m the only person here at school who loves Star Wars, and watches Clone Wars, but that doesn’t stop me from enjoying the series and watching it with my roommate(whether she likes it or not) every week. But I know I have friends here who have posters with Yoda and artwork from the original trilogy framed and hanging proudly on their walls.
Also, if somebody tells you Clone Wars is not a “girl show”, tell them “then why are there so many strong girls in it?”
That happens to me all the time in school. I’m 13 and i have an idea of what she goes through all the time. I feel so bad and my bffl says “It is just wrong that a cute innocent litte girl like Katie must endure that everyday.” I hope bullies everywhere have read this story and know the pain us girl fans go through. If you want to know what happened, Tweet me @LogansGal on Twitter or e-mail me at LeiaOrgana456@aol.com. i will reply to you. I want eneryone to hear.
The worst thing about bullying situations like this is that girls can be scared of from liking Star Wars, and then lose this great piece of adventure in their lives. I’m 14, and a freshman in high school, but I’m lucky enough to go to a school that’s considered a weirdo school by people in neighboring high schools, but whenever I wear my Star Wars t-shirts, I find that people are always staring at me, and complimenting my shirt, guys and girls. There are even a couple people at my school who have Star Wars bags, shirts, necklaces, everyting! And they’re not like social outcasts or anything. Mainly, its been my parents who used to tell me that I should spend more time studying rather than being the Star Wars geek that I am. If you’re getting bullied by other kids, I’d advise you to keep on showing your fandom-you’ll make new freinds; I did!!
And thanks for everyting Ashley!
i never asked for starwars toys , because it was made very clear in my house i was to play with dolls and dishes.i came from a conservative family and i was ashamed of the fact that i loved my brothers toys. ( this was back in 77, for the first round of movies) my kids share the action figures now. i have a boy and a girl. its sad when the bullying begins at home.
I just want to thank Ashley for what she is doing. We need more women to stand up to all the bullies out there. Her Universe is the best thing to come to Star Wars since Mandos and the Force.
Thank you
Band together fan girls!!!
when someone teases u over star wars, be a Jedi!!
remember: legions of us are rallying behind you!!
MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU….. ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!
I’m going to be praying for all the star wars fans out there getting bullied, and that they put there trust in Jesus. Shoot I get made fun of at school for Loving Jesus and star wars.That doesn’t bother me though I’m going to keep wearing my Luke t shirt and reading my bible. Go Star Wars Girls!
And Boys too!
I feel so sorry for every girl who gets bullied or gossiped about for liking Star Wars. I don’t attend a school because I’m home-schooled, but whenever I go to public places I try as hard as possible to wear my Ahsoka chibi T-shirt. To show my love for Star Wars. I do get teased by little boys for liking Ahsoka, cuz they think she’s stupid. Anyone who thinks that needs to get in their right mind. Especially after the previous episode. And I agree with Kim-theX-wingPilot. I’m also gonna love Star Wars, love Jesus even more, and read my Bible!
I agree with you natalie crescent I am also homeschooled and just recently started to like Ashoka myself! I have a star wars shirt but its a cheep walmart one i dont own a her universe tee yet, but its on my christmas list! And yeah read the bible!! and girls rule!
ok, i know i’ve commented a lot on this, but its only becuase this seriously irritates me.
i remember in a previous blog about the Rebel Alliance ( i have one btw, and i love it!) and why it was designed. it’s becuase we are starting our own Rebellion trying to destroy the idea that star wars and such is only for boys (in other words, an Empire).
well, we all know how it worked out in the movies— the Rebels win.
and we will too.
getting our point across to people is going to feel like trying to blow up a couple of Deathstars. but we are gonna do it.
like i said before, we are all rallying behind each other. that’s determination. we are the Rebellion. nothing stopped them, so why should anything stop us?
just remember: we are all backing each other up. no Rebel would desert another.
MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU……ALWAYS!!!!!!!
sorry, i meant the REBEL ALLIANCE NECKLACE in that previous post.
MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU….ALWAYS!
Awesome advise Kim-thex-wingPilot! I’m going to keep on liking Star Wars and loving Jesus!
I felt the same way, I wanted a Star Wars the Clone Wars, at least a shirt of it. My friends keep saying that “it’s a boy-thing”. NOT true! Girl’s can be a SyFy Geek if they want to be. I know I am!
When I was in 1st grade, I started to get bullied by many kids too, even for liking Star Wars. Things got worst for me, even the parents were bullying my parents, then I went to another school, and they did the same thing there, except it was more violent than the one before, then the school I went after that, things weren’t so violent, and were more calm. I guess where ever you go there’s always an bully there, even when your grown up. But seriously, there should be more stricter rules against bullying in schools.
This is such a sad story!:( Star Wars loving girls hardly have an easy time with people! Its sad to hear how young that teasing is starting for girls. I never showed my star wars love in public school thats why I never got teased because I was afraid to be teased! I really wished I had shown it though! Ashley is doing a great favor to girls by with this site and everything she has done for us from the line, blog, and forum! Ashley how can we thank you enough? You have been such an inspiration to us all! I wear my HU shirts with pride and will never regret it! We must stand up and show its time for guys to step aside! ITS OUR TURN!!!!!! We must stay strong in the force to conquer this girls cant be fans thing in our way! Bring on the clankers! And may the force be with you always! ~Rex’sgirl
Well said Rex’s Girl!
Thank you!
I would like to add a bit of social history here.
Sci-fi was a realm started and dominated by men until just recently. It’s going to take a while to change this mindset that sci-fi is a man’s realm. We can’t expect it to happen instantly or even within a few years’ time.
In addition, since the feminist and sexual revolutions in the States in the 60s and 70s, many women have been (rightfully) taking their equal places next to men, but there is now a small trend going on in the men’s realm of going back to the basics, i.e. taking back manhood (in all its various forms). Read the article here: http://www.newsweek.com/2010/09/20/why-we-need-to-reimagine-masculinity.html. So female Star Wars fans making our way into what was once a “manhood realm” is probably not appreciated by some. Again, we can’t expect this to change overnight.
What we CAN do is continue to explain ourselves logically and correctly as to why we deserve to have respect and recognition in the sci-fi realm, specifically Star Wars at this point. If we respect where men are coming from and support the exact same thing they do (a love of sci-fi), they simply won’t be able to help doing the same back to us eventually!
And if they don’t they are simply unworthy of our time.
Great blog Ashley. There is so much pressure on children to conform and its really a shame. I love your Ahsoka backpack! Girls who like Star Wars and aren’t ashamed to admit it are a million times more attractive!
[...] had a blog post on her site not to long ago about a young girl who was ridiculed by her classmates for carrying a Star Wars backpack as a purse. I am a grown woman and I still get the occasional [...]
Hmm. This was my First trip to your blog. Thank you for sharing this. I am going to subscribe to this website. I am a house decorator for a while. My home decor hint of the year is: Do not overclutter a room. A good walking area is required. Happy Holidays…..
This reminds me of when I was in 6th grade and went to a new school! I made a new friend and got her into Star Wars when I made her watch an episode of Star Wars the Clone Wars while on a fieldtrip. We never talked about it at school because we were afriad that we wouldn’t be able to make any new friends if they found out we liked Star Wars. All of 6th grade went by and most of 7th grade before we revealed to our other friends that we were huge Star Wars fans. They, to our suprise, didn’t mind at all that we loved Star Wars and some of them even liked it to! Now my friends and I are in 8th grade and could care less if anyone doesn’t like us because of our love of Star Wars! I’m even going to have a party over our Christmas break and me and my friends (girlfriends and guyfriends) are all coming over to my house to watch all 6 Star Wars movies all day long! So don’t be afraid to share you love of Star Wars, it has given me a new best friend and many friends who are guys and hopefully more friends in the future! LONG LIVE STAR WARS AND FRIENDSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kids can be very mean, often times without realizing it. Sometimes, they simply repeat things that their parents and siblings say, but sometimes they say things just to be mean or provoke a reaction. I’m a kindergarten teacher and it is no secret that I love Star Wars. I have a Jedi costume that I wear to school for Halloween, and it is a big hit. However, I once had a student of mine, a 5 year old boy, tell me I couldn’t like Star Wars because it was “for boys” to which I replied “I’ve loved Star Wars since before you were born. Believe me, Star Wars is for everyone.” Unfortunately, the merchandise is overwhelmingly marketed towards boys, and most of the characters are male, but it includes a lot of kick-butt female characters and a whole lot of action. The perceptions are beginning to change, but the stereotypes are still there. Poise and confidence is sometimes the best defense to harsh words. It’s unusual to have a female teacher love “boy” things, but it was wonderful to see how many Vader and Jedi costumes my current and former students wore to school this year. Good influences far outweigh the bad ones, and confidence will take you a long way. It’s hard to keep your chin up as you’re being picked on, but it’s worth it in the end. Be the change you wish to see, and others will follow.
This story really toched me because im in the 7th grade, and have many of the same differences that katie dose. And boys can be very mean to girls when they think that they don’t fit in. And they just don’t get that girls can like what they like. And i don’t blame katie for having star wars accesorys. Star wars is the best movie EVER! and girls can like it too. so boys should just deal with it.
I know how it is with kids (especially the younger ones). I’m such a fan girl and loved talking to the boys at the school I worked with about Star Wars. One of them asked, “Oh, do you watch it with your sons?” First I was 19 at the time and 2nd gender roles are so ingrained in our culture it’s hard to escape them. On the other hand I went to grad school with a Stromtrooper bag that said support our troops and gave a presentation for a bunch of grad students with my power point on a USB drive in the shape of Yoda.
Why is it that we need to prevent bullying? I was bullied and I turned out just fine. My parents helped me through it, oh wait…
Okay first off, this is not bullying it’s all about peer pressure. You know, that thing in school where you and all your friends wore the same clothes, got the same hair cuts, drank the same alcohol, smoked the same cigarettes. It is a part of life, it is how a weak person learns survival skills. Individuality and standing out from the status quo is how a strong person developes survival skills. Much like deer herd up to hide themselves from the predators, people succumb to peer pressure.
People may think that humans are better than animals, but one look in the news and we all know this is not the case. Yes, we are on the top rung of the food chain, and yes, we can overcome our instincts with logic, but does that mean we are truly better? I think not. We are no better than the animals we watch over.
That said, parents, love your kids. Teach them that they matter and to be strong while facing dispair, and make sure they know that you have been thru the same events while growing up. If a child knows this, they will think to themselves, if my parents survived it, I can too.
We don’t need a federal mandate or the nanny state protecting our children just because some people think parenting is nothing more than feeding, clothing, and educating. Keep the government out of our families and raise your kids, become invovled. If you do not want to be invovled in your kids life, then please find a family who will care for them and have yourself sterilized immediately. Thank you and good night.
I love your advice for kids/girls to stand up for what they like instead of making excuses or backing down in the face of peer pressure. I think I was the only 5th grader in my school who liked Star Wars at all, because this was back in the early 90′s in between bouts of Star Wars popularity. Getting bullied for being a nerd brought me down so much I was depressed and had to see a counselor! I just hope your advice reaches lots of little girls so they don’t have to go through what I did! You’re doing a wonderful thing.. keep it up
I work at a preschool and I have a 3 little girl who’s pretty convinced she’s a padawan that goes to my school. She does like her princesses but she’s a HUGE fan of Darth Vadar (daddy has even been to school in full on attire twice) and Mommy is a pretty huge fan also. I don’ stop the boys from dressing in heels and tu-tus and will not allow the girls to be teased for wearing typically male gender items. I think it’s at this stage of discovering sameness and differences that children begin to explore how to act and it’s very important that children should be taught that deep down EVERYONE is the same and NO ONE should be made to feel bad about themselves.
that’s – 3 year old girl, not a 3 little girl
My 6 year old girl LOVES Star Wars. And Disney. At her first trip to Disneyland she met Cinderella and fought Darth Vader. It was EPIC. Boys have told her Star Wars is for boys, but she proudly wears her “I love Darth Vader” T-shirt. Makes her daddy proud. What’s not to love? The princess gets the scoundrel, good defeats evil. It’s the classic fairy tale. She also loves Avatar (the Airbender) and barbie. But she was Leia for Halloween:). Thanks for sharing this! My girls will see it too!
I’ve loved Star Wars as long as I can remember! I went to my first high school Halloween party dressed up as Princess Leia, buns and all. And people thought I was weird. I don’t think I realized that it’s ok to not be the definition of “cool” until I was 25. I hope in the future girls don’t have to struggle with wanting to fit in that long.
Girls are told WAY TOO MUCH what they can/can’t do and what they are supposed to like. My friend’s little girl loves her Disney Princesses but is a HUGE Star Wars fan (thanks to her Daddy…who films stop motion movies of Lego Star Wars builds – http://www.youtube.com/user/novorskas).
Probably partly because of Star Wars I became a pilot (who doesn’t want to fly a X-wing?!?). I’m an airline pilot now and I HATE hearing girls say “I had no idea girls could be pilots.” I try to bring girls up to the cockpit – even if they don’t want to fly I want them to know that they can do anything they want, even if it’s something that’s viewed as “just for boys.”
I took my 7 year old daughter to Disney’s Hollywood Studios in 2009 where she participated in the Jedi Training Academy attraction. Ever since, she has been a fan! Before then neither she or her 4 year old brother seen any of the films or shows, but now they watch all the time. They even decided to wear Jedi Halloween costumes. We went back to DHS this year during their annual Star Wars Weekends event and they had the time of their lives (or maybe that was me!). Anyway, even though I am a grown-up boy, I think the idea of Star Wars being boys only is ridiculous! The Star Wars Universe is for everybody. Here’s to girl-geeks everywhere! May the force be with you!
I just read Katie’s story…I know exactly what she is going through. I always loved Star Wars but became a huge crazy fan during the re-release in 1997. That was before we had nice, girly Star Wars shirts, but I still went out and bought men’s size small shirts and wore them to school. I read all the novels during homeroom, and sadly, I was labeled the nerd. I stuck with it through college (despite the teasing). Now, as an adult, I have an entire Star Wars room in my house. People never believe I am a SW fan but they are amazed at my collection. All my male friends think it’s pretty awesome that a trendy, hip woman is willing to sit down and watch SW with them…because most women are too uptight to enjoy the space opera! I plan on wearing my neon-green stormtrooper shirt tomorrow for Katie!
I don’t mean to sound snide, but is this going to move you to start offering kids sizes? I buy my 6 year-old daughter “boys” Star Wars clothing. She wears it (because she loves Star Wars), but I know it bothers her that there’s no girls clothing — and it certainly reinforces the message that girls shouldn’t like Star Wars. I showed her this website, which helped, but the fact that there was nothing she could wear undermined the message a bit….. Anyway, if it isn’t economical, I understand. Keep up the good work.
I have been following Katie’s story for a while, ever since I saw it on Epbot. Her story is definitely one that I sympathize with, and it warms my heart so much to see such a positive response to this story.
I feel like I’ve definitely had to defy the stereotypes, myself, in life. I’m a girl geek, and a professional game artist. Games definitely fall into the category of things, stereotypically, only associated with boys. Girls go to the mall, they don’t play Grand Theft Auto. Growing up, this was just as much the case of why I felt like an outsider. I was the girl who read Star Wars novels between classes, and guys generally didn’t know what to make of me because I could geek it up as much as they could. Still, I always felt a pressure to be ‘girly’, and to not bother with things like video games and comic books. I consider my ability to defy that pressure as being due to the fortune of knowing many like minded women throughout my life. We are girl geeks, we can wear ruffles and still like our lightsaber replicas authentic.
I’ve been delighted to see how the stereotypes about geekdom and girls have been changing, and the girl geek scene as a whole has shown remarkable growth. I think it only is happening, though, due to girl geeks out there who have been able to proudly stand up for who they are and that they aren’t going anywhere. We can geek out with the best of them
and we should let the world know.
[...] sent “Star Wars” merch. Ashley Eckstein, who voices the female Jedi Ahsoka Tano, sent Her Universe clothes tailored for girls. Tom Kane, who voices Yoda, escorted the Goldmans to a screening near [...]
[...] sent “Star Wars” merch. Ashley Eckstein, who voices the female Jedi Ahsoka Tano, sent Her Universe clothes tailored for girls. Tom Kane, who voices Yoda, escorted the Goldmans to a screening near [...]
Proud of Katie and her parents. She’s a wonderful example for my 4 year old daughter.
when I was little, I always thought it was cool to play with a girl who also wanted to go as a Jedi for Halloween. And…well, there’s also nothing hotter than a Jedi knight that’s a chick! LOL!
[...] sent “Star Wars” merch. Ashley Eckstein, who voices the female Jedi Ahsoka Tano, sent Her Universe clothes tailored for girls. Tom Kane, who voices Yoda, escorted the Goldmans to a screening near [...]
Today is “May the Force be with Katie (and all those who have been bullied) Day.”
“Why are people bullied?” I have often wondered. Is it an issue of their heart? Or do bullies genuinely like to tease and insult people?
I, like countless others in the world, have been bullied. Whether a young child, tween, teen, or adult; whether at school or at work; whether physically or verbally, everyone on earth–although it is sad to write–has been bullied at some point in their lives. And it is NOT right.
Why bullying? Why now? It is not something new. Indeed, bullying has always been around.
However, though bulling can never be ‘totally stopped’, I feel that bullying wouldn’t be as prevalent if everyone were a little kinder to one another–sort of like…like a “kindness act!”
You do something nice for someone and someone else in return may make someone else’s day. Far-fetched? Not really. People have already begun to do it for Katie.
This reminds me of a favorite quote of mine: “We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do.”
I want to encourage (and challenge) you (and me, too!): whether you smile more, share more, or just be yourself more—-you could make somebody’s day.
Thank you for reading,
Lillian Skye
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
Philippians 4:8~
[...] merch. Ashley Eckstein, who voices the female Jedi Ahsoka Tano, sent Her Universe clothes tailored for girls. Tom Kane, who voices Yoda, escorted the Goldmans to [...]
I just found out about Katie from a story on the front page of Yahoo. After reading it, I immediately retweeted it AND posted it on Facebook, something I only do for stories I find worth sharing.
I think it’s sad that kids like Katie are being bullied just because they have different interests than everyone else. I can relate, because I was also teased a lot as a kid. Not about Star Wars – though I probably DID like Star Wars as a kid – but for other reasons. I don’t remember exactly what they teased me about now, but it hurt.
I think this is similar to how girl gamers are looked down upon. Not too long ago, I had gone to get some dinner after work, since my parents couldn’t pick me up right away, and afterwards I went and looked at a nearby Gamestop. I just so happened to run into one of my male coworkers when I was there. He was surprised to see me there, saying “I never pictured you as a gamer.” I just brushed off the comment, but it made me think: what’s wrong with girls being into video games? I mean, there are many games now that are even meant for girls, like Ubisoft’s “Imagine” series (where girls get to pretend to do different jobs, like a fashion designer, a family doctor, etc. I have “Imagine: Interior Designer” myself).
It is true that the stereotypical geek is male. I think we need to show girls that it’s ok for them to be geeks too. I think the “Star Wars” series is a good place for girl geeks to get some role models, since there are some strong female characters in it, like Leia, Padmé and her handmaidens, Ahsoka, and Mara Jade.
Thanks for posting about this Ashley! I haven’t really watched “Clone Wars,” just the movie, but I did like Ahsoka in it, and I even printed out a coloring book page of her from the official movie site, colored it, and put it on my wall! My favorite “Star Wars” character, though, is Padmé.
~Misty
[...] sent “Star Wars” merch. Ashley Eckstein, who voices the female Jedi Ahsoka Tano, sent Her Universe clothes tailored for girls. Tom Kane, who voices Yoda, escorted the Goldmans to a screening near [...]
I can’t beleive that this crap is still happening! My oldest is 10 and wears her Star Wars and wrestling tee’s to school with pride. She even carries a John Cena back-pack and the only problem we had was somebody trying to buy it off her. As someone who was bullied as a kid for being different all I can say to Katie is “Hold on kiddo, it will get better.” Whille we geeks are changing the world the bullies will be working at Mickey D’s
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[...] sent “Star Wars” merch. Ashley Eckstein, who voices the female Jedi Ahsoka Tano, sent Her Universe clothes tailored for girls. Tom Kane, who voices Yoda, escorted the Goldmans to a screening near [...]
Hotel Papaho…
Hotel papaho…
The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, but I actually thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could fix if you werent too busy looking for attention.
i love star wars so much. i often get teased too, and i’m in 8th grade. one time i was leia for halloween and some one knited me a hat that looked like her buns. well, that person read katie’s story, and knited one of those hats for her! i actually got to knit a few rows! it was on cnn.com! go katie!